


Drink with me to days gone by

by Renjy (Mauness)



Series: Enjoltaire week 2016, a modern AU [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enjoltaire Week 2016, M/M, exr week 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 11:59:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7102324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mauness/pseuds/Renjy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 1: Embrace<br/>Grantaire goes out for a drink, which is not particularly helpful for him this night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drink with me to days gone by

**Author's Note:**

> Some swearing.  
> Yeah he drinks, but it is more his thoughts than the alcohol.

I’m a regular guest at this bar by now. I come here often enough for this bar to feel like a second home to me.  
That happens when you can’t drink in your house. You can't fully blame that on my habits alone. While I technically can drink at home, it is officially not allowed. So I had to find a place to drink. Luckily my solution came just a few blocks away. However, it is still easier to drink at home. Therefore, sometimes I break the no-drinking rule. Only to realize that drinking here has it perks. I have no complaints from my housemates, which I am for 90 % friendly with. I don't need to worry about anyone. No one asks for anything. They are mostly minding their own business. No one cares who you are and that is a nice change from home.  
Yes. I do hear my housemates or friends. Their questions and their reasonings. The only thing is, that I choose to kindly ignore them. It I not like I have a reason behind my drinking habit. I have done it for a very long time. It is a part of me. Not everything has a reason.  
Unfortunately, I am still sober enough to think clearly and to realize that what I said is not fully true.  
I can’t say that there is no trigger at all for my drinking. There are certain events after which I drink more. That is undeniable. I only rather not think back to those moments. So my mind replaying them in my head is not what I want right now. Even after something stronger than usual down my throat, my mind does not stop tonight.  
Drinking is supposed to be a defence against my own emotions. Apparently my fucked up brain does not want that defence. If it doesn't work, I might as well go home, where the same thing happens in my head. I try to fight or deny it, but I know the feelings stay. It does not work, but I can't just let my life be biased by feelings. So I might as well try my best. For as far as I try for anything. Someone sits down next to me. ‘You know drinking doesn’t stop your feelings right?’ I hear Feuilly say.  
‘I can try.’  
I smile a little and order another drink. I see Feuilly shaking his head. 'But it just doesn't work like you want to, R. If embracing it is that impossible, try something else than drinking. It might as well distract you more.’  
‘Like what?’ I snap.  
Seriously. This is not helpful. Let me do what I want on my own. It is my life. 'Boks, or, for gods sake, work as much as Enjolras. It is what he does too'  
I laugh. ‘He has no feelings. That's just him.’  
I take a sip from my drink. 'You know that is not true,' Feuilly sighs.  
He has a point, if only a little bit. Not that I am going to admit that to him. I have my pride. And while I might embrace that I am doomed with these feelings sometimes, I still stand behind myself. Not feeling anything is better than rejection.

**Author's Note:**

> What might be useful for you to know:  
> I know it is not ER right now, but it will happen in this series. Which I will write in this Enjoltaire week.  
> Six stories in this series.  
> Les Amis are housemates in this AU, university or something like that.


End file.
